The Path to Surrender

We often think anxiety is the enemy. That something out there needs fixing—our job, our relationships, the future. But lately, I’ve realized that what stirs my anxiety most... is my desire to control.

Control feels safe. Predictable. Like if I can just make life go my way, I’ll be okay. Subconsciously, it’s like I’m keeping score. When things go how I imagined, I gain points. When they don’t, I toss the scorecard and declare my life a mess. Dramatic? Maybe. But honest? Absolutely.

This obsession with making life behave is quietly destructive. It turns my mind into a battlefield. It creates tension in my chest, in my breath, in the very string of my soul. Like a guitar string pulled too tight—always on the verge of snapping.

And the worst part? When I catch myself doing it, I get angry... at myself. I resent the one person who needs the most compassion: me. It’s a vicious cycle of fear, control, and self-blame.

But here’s what I’m learning:

There is no single quick fix. And that’s okay.

This is my soul work. My life lesson. I believe I was given this anxiety—not as a punishment—but as a path. A path that brings me back home to myself. A path that teaches me what love truly means, starting with loving the anxious, tender parts of me.

Every moment that shakes me is also an invitation—to soften, to release, to surrender.

And when I do... when I finally let go from the inside... something shifts. There’s a liberation that’s hard to describe. Like I’ve opened a window and the light just pours in. Like the universe wraps me up in warmth I didn’t even know I needed.

And I absorb it. Every drop.

In those moments, the how no longer matters. The steps I took to get here blur in comparison to the love I feel. A love that dissolves fear, one breath at a time.